Fat Albert’s Outpatient Folk Clinic – Too Many Rimbauds

I saw Christ, and I saw the Rose.

I miss the scent and the peace; but I refuse
the return to the garden, the false Paradise.
There have always been too many Rimbauds.

No room in the garden, no space in Paradise –
plenty of opportunity among the thorns.

On the lookout for gun runners, starved midgets,
ballerinas perched upon the precipice.

Among the shadows, among the smugglers, within the walls
of the castle, beside the thorns: the rose.

And inside the Rose, now too many Arthur Rimbauds.

©Dean Baker

excerpt from Fat Albert’s Outpatient Folk Clinic– https://www.amazon.com/Fat-Alberts-Outpatient-Folk-Clinic/dp/1503168190

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Dr. Dean: The Interview

Reprinted here is an interview with Dr. Dean, Poet Laureate. He was interviewed by the ghost of Mother Teresa.

Mother Teresa: Namaste, Mr. Dean
Dr. Dean: First, it’s Dr. Dean, and I’m curious about that word. Na –mahs, te. Is that like lazily saying Nah, must have tea?
Mother Teresa: It means blessings upon you, to me.
Dr. Dean: How about just forking over $1000.00? That would be a blessing.
Mother Teresa: Oh no (giggling), that is the material world. I do not deal in that.
Dr. Dean: That would explain why you’re a fucking ghost.
Mother Teresa: We do not make that distinction between the spiritual and material worlds, though we can recognize the distinction.
Dr. Dean: You don’t think it’s necessary after all this time? I mean, look what happened to Gandhi, ML King, John Lennon. And then of course you, although you did not gain any significant spiritual awards say like Lenin, by not decomposing. You must have been a real blight on the sense of smell for those few days.
Mother Teresa: Oh yes, by golly. My followers had a difficult time. It was a test to strengthen their spirit, and detach them from the world of needs requiring pleasant things.
Dr. Dean: Well no doubt you were a banquet of reassurance in that department.
Mother Teresa: Well, yes, humble as I am. I was. But we are not here to praise me, we are here to acknowledge that your poetry is gaining great significance in the spiritual world.
Dr. Dean: Shit, I knew that – ever since I started writing. Problem is you fucking ghosts don’t carry any cash.
Mother Teresa: It is true.. We are raised above our origins in dust, and have joined totally with the Spirit.
Dr. Dean: That doesn’t help me. You, in your Pledge rags, championing a higher world, won’t buy my books, or peace of mind.
Mother Teresa: Perhaps you need to express a greater sense of gratitude so Grace may be visited upon you.
Dr. Dean: If she shows up at the door, the wife is going to pitch a fit.
Mother Teresa: Oh no, no. The blessings of Grace, from the Spirit.
Dr. Dean: I experienced that! Hallelujah.
Mother Teresa: No! I mean the spirit.
Dr. Dean: I mean the spirit, too, you bundle of Goodwill discards.
Mother Teresa: Now, no need to become rude, I am here to help. To acknowledge your greatness.
Dr. Dean: I have people acknowledge my greatness every day. They say I inspire them, they love my work, all that good bullshit. But it’s rare they buy the books, the cheap bastards.
Mother Teresa: But you are reaching them where it counts. Spiritually. You are blessing them where it counts.
Dr. Dean:(raises his leg) I’ll bless’m alright if they don’t buy some books.
Mother Teresa: What do books matter if you cannot reconcile your great poetry with spirit in this world?
Dr. Dean: Hey Tessy, are you retarded? Books bought equal notice equal more attention which equals myself earning some focking moolah to keep body and spirit together.
Mother Teresa: I did fine while alive. I kept spirits high. I served the people.
Dr. Dean: Good for you, granny. You mentored holy cows, and when a complaint was lodged about the stink and the filth and the flies in keeping said cows in apartment blocks, you responded with great humor, “Well, the cow will just have to get used to it.”
Cow flops became Frisbees, fire starters, and birthday cakes. No one asked, what is this shit.
Now that’s evolvement. Get comfortable with crap to prove your higher being.
Mother Teresa: You are so nasty.
Dr. Dean: Stop with the compliments, you handbag.
Mother Teresa: Is nothing sacred to you? You are getting on my nerves, as they say.
Dr. Dean: Why don’t you chow down on some cow burger – 100% Pure Beef Poo – and join me in the world of poverty.
Mother Teresa: By golly gosh. You are disturbing my holy self.
Dr. Dean: Well, wait a minute. Now I get complaints from ghosts? Hey, listen, I had some burger before you arrived. I can share.
Mother Teresa: Oh alright, it would not be a sin since I am holy.
Dr. Dean: Hey me too, ya old tart. Come closer and I will share.
Mother Teresa’s billowy ghost leans over towards Dr. Dean. At which point, he raises his leg, lets go a ripper, and exclaims: I bless you! Eat that, it’s spiritual!
Mother Teresa: By gosh, by golly! The Devil has come to get me, I am dying!
Dr. Dean: You say you’re done with the main course? Want an appetizer?
The same earlier scene is repeated, resulting in the swift disappearance of the ghost of Mother Teresa.
Dr. Dean is heard exclaiming: Buy my books, or when I’m all spirit, I’m going to be all spirit all over you and your legion of Robed Rejects.
A cloud of dust erupts and the voice of Mother Teresa in a weak tremor can be heard fading into the distance: ‘I am spiritual. I am so spiritual. I will be spiritual. By golly gosh, that bastard farted on my Holiness! Oh world , is nothing sacred.’

©Dean Baker

excerpt from Tormenting The Monkey – https://www.amazon.com/Tormenting-Monkey-Dean-J-Baker/dp/1514871963

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All These Carusos

All the internet’s a raised eyebrow, a smug look
and Caruso singing me, me, me, o solo mio,
remedial bumblers attempting insight, declaring
themselves non-carriers of blight and stuck,
vituperative non-entities trumpeting their lies
as insight because they never look for themselves

where they’d confide hey that came out seemingly
alright, struck a chord of similarities by those
who peruse the profound in an instant, now
decoratively stating this is right, nothing else shall
suit us or we fall off the edge of this flat earth
we’ve contrived where everything known remains in sight

with all the Carusos gargling vowels and turning
trite the trivial flickering lights above themselves
mistaken for halos, spitting out blurbs as history
alters course for their lack of right or wrong
balanced upon who welcomes, who might refuse:
each mules the drug they claim not to recognize at all

©Dean Baker

-from Steel Butterflies

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Just Want

Some cream in my coffee whenever
I might wake from
sleep of which I cannot think

No fucked-up minds inquiring
before death and sickness fail
to step aside for the new beginning

If you notice that I have
nothing to say to you, you know
it’s because you never listen

But interrupt in your only constancy
these things evident
of whatever truth you contend against

©Dean Baker

-from Shadow Boxing The Infinite – on sale

enjoy my work? always read my poems? buy a book & show support

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deanbakerpoetryandsongs.com

my books…. https://www.amazon.com/Dean-Baker/e/B00IC6PGQM

The P.C. Eats My Brain

The P.C. eats my brain,
the corpses in the living-room
nod awake: another nerve expires.

I do not complain.
Such fantasies of doom
fail to aid the other liars.

You think you are satisfied
with what’s electric; your city
friends, and their mutual hatred.

This is no more than
speculation:
few rise to it, though you try.

Pull back the covers: even
your skeleton stays
cold and still and naked.

**“Dean is a combination of thought and torment that has made him write more than a baker’s dozen of fine poems.. he might produce a collection that could astound us all.” – Irving Layton, (**“Canada’s greatest poet”- Leonard Cohen), nominated twice for the Nobel Prize for Literature.

On Many Mornings

There were mornings
I said I will see it through
I cannot give in
that being an idea you had

I took refuge in books and women
My consolation led me nowhere
I was utterly lost
I am back baking bread in the kitchen

When you come to this
As no doubt you will
Remember everything you wanted
Consider how to kill

The Mythologies Of Love

**“Dean is a combination of thought and torment that has made him write more than a baker’s dozen of fine poems.. he might produce a collection that could astound us all.” – Irving Layton, (**“Canada’s greatest poet”- Leonard Cohen), nominated twice for the Nobel Prize for Literature.

In The Land Of The Blind, You Must Exorcise Daily

There are those women and men whose observation
consists in an exaggeration, a statement made
by which they stand and proclaim that any logic,
any slight chance of disagreement betrays:
no affinity between you and I, none now or again

You have challenged my throne, knave or fool
you must begin to earn the abasement which I
endured, for ages even though
on the way you’re ex deus machina, and such
certainty invites the hallucination I dare not

Speak nor entertain, thus remaining yours alone –
shadow puppet to a fate abandoned long ago, phantom
noises echoing endlessly down those empty corridors

From which you strive to stray, limning the pain
the chalk efflorescence tainted now marking
the crime for which you stand in, whose safety
in abandonment eventually
you make haste to escape before it becomes memory

Category: Literature

Fat Albert’s Outpatient Folk Clinic – Too Many Rimbauds

excerpt from Fat Albert’s Outpatient Folk Clinic– https://www.amazon.com/Fat-Alberts-Outpatient-Folk-Clinic/dp/1503168190

Dr. Dean: The Interview

excerpt from Tormenting The Monkey – https://www.amazon.com/Tormenting-Monkey-Dean-J-Baker/dp/1514871963

All These Carusos

Just Want

The P.C. Eats My Brain

**“Dean is a combination of thought and torment that has made him write more than a baker’s dozen of fine poems.. he might produce a collection that could astound us all.” – Irving Layton, (**“Canada’s greatest poet”- Leonard Cohen), nominated twice for the Nobel Prize for Literature.

On Many Mornings

**“Dean is a combination of thought and torment that has made him write more than a baker’s dozen of fine poems.. he might produce a collection that could astound us all.” – Irving Layton, (**“Canada’s greatest poet”- Leonard Cohen), nominated twice for the Nobel Prize for Literature.

In The Land Of The Blind, You Must Exorcise Daily

https://www.amazon.com/Dean-J.-Baker/e/B00IC6PGQM/

excerpt from Fat Albert’s Outpatient Folk Clinic– https://www.amazon.com/Fat-Alberts-Outpatient-Folk-Clinic/dp/1503168190

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excerpt from Tormenting The Monkey – https://www.amazon.com/Tormenting-Monkey-Dean-J-Baker/dp/1514871963

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“Dean is a combination of thought and torment that has made him write more than a baker’s dozen of fine poems.. he might produce a collection that could astound us all.” – Irving Layton, (“Canada’s greatest poet”- Leonard Cohen), nominated twice for the Nobel Prize for Literature.

Share this:

Like this:

“Dean is a combination of thought and torment that has made him write more than a baker’s dozen of fine poems.. he might produce a collection that could astound us all.” – Irving Layton, (“Canada’s greatest poet”- Leonard Cohen), nominated twice for the Nobel Prize for Literature.

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

**“Dean is a combination of thought and torment that has made him write more than a baker’s dozen of fine poems.. he might produce a collection that could astound us all.” – Irving Layton, (**“Canada’s greatest poet”- Leonard Cohen), nominated twice for the Nobel Prize for Literature.

**“Dean is a combination of thought and torment that has made him write more than a baker’s dozen of fine poems.. he might produce a collection that could astound us all.” – Irving Layton, (**“Canada’s greatest poet”- Leonard Cohen), nominated twice for the Nobel Prize for Literature.